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The Best of 2013: Friend, Foe or ‘Frienemy’? You Decide « This is Your Wake Up Call!
This is Your Wake Up Call!

The Best of 2013: Friend, Foe or ‘Frienemy’? You Decide

Beloved, this message was a part of this years Lenten Journey. Minister Tracey Bowen Bell has been such a blessing in helping to coordinate guest writers for the Lenten, Advent and Praycation series. She is also a wonderful writer and Florida minister herself. Thanks Tracey!


Let’s review: 
John 15:1-17 NIV

Jesus said that he has called us his friend. We are not just servants who are expected to do as we are told, without knowing or understanding why. As friends, we have a knowledge and understanding of what Jesus and the Father are doing because they have invited us into covenant fellowship with them. We get excited at the thought of being “friends” with Jesus, like he is one of our homeboys from around the way. We often overlook the directive that comes with being a friend of God. To best explain this concept, I would like to propose that we can participate in one of three types of relationship with God: Friend, Foe or “Frienemy.” I will start by describing the most obvious; a foe.

Foes of God refuse to acknowledge that God exists. They will not obey, will not give him credit for His works, and are content to believe that they alone are in control of their life. Their demeanor is in direct opposition of the cause of Christ and therefore they are considered foes of God/Christ.

The second relationship is a friend of God. John 15 says that we know we are friends of God when we obey His commands and when we love. It is just that simple. Nothing we can earn or labor for unless our labor is pure obedience or loving on another. The two relationships, foe and friend, are quite easily understood. It’s the third one that calls for examination. The Frienemy…

A frienemy is one who on outward appearance or by their own confession loves God, yet their behaviors do not line up with their words. They shout on Sunday and cuss you out on Monday. They frequent unseemly places, hoping to go unnoticed. They nurture pet sins, all the while causing confusion with onlookers as they wonder, “Is that what salvation is all about?” Why are they called frienemies? Because on the surface they appear to be friends of God, however if you dig a little, you find that they are actually enemies of God, not earnestly loving or obeying as commanded. Instead they create confusion among the saved and the lost, repelling others, rather than drawing them.

As we reflect John 15 and the importance of being connected to God, let us also soberly contemplate the question: Are we truly friends of God? Or are unknowingly behaving as frienemies of God by not adhering to the directive to love and obey? Thankfully, because of His grace we have time and opportunity reflect and re-direct our efforts. Will you become a true friend of God today? He is waiting!

Minister Tracey Bowen Bell

Miami, FL


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  1. Amen Minister Bowen… Good word! “I am a friend of God”

  2. Pastor Delphine Lynetta Vasser says:

    Thank you for sharing your journey and meditation with the body of Christ. Showers of Blessings, Pastor Delphine

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